


With eyes shut close.

by skyblue993



Series: Jonnor oneshots [75]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, M/M, Post quarantine fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:54:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23213599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: It all comes to an end finally.Jude doesn't even realize really how many days, weeks, have gone by until he was finally allowed to get his life back.The whole situation took too much away from people.Lives, people, freedom.It taught him that nothing was ever going to be the same but one thing he was sure of..
Relationships: Jude Adams Foster/Connor Stevens
Series: Jonnor oneshots [75]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/444949
Comments: 7
Kudos: 10





	With eyes shut close.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello y'all.  
> It's been a while, I know.. but as many of you know I'm Italian and I've been in quarantine myself for the past week.. I needed something to get my mind off the awful moment we've been living and getting back to worship Jonnor was the best thing I could think of.  
> I dont' know if any of you is still reading Jonnor fics but if you are, let me know cause I'd get back in the fanfic business in a beat.  
> PS: since it's the first time I've been writing in a year or so please be kind with the whole "Grammar, typos" thing... I'm doing my best.  
> Thank you!

“Hey, is everything okay?”

Jude doesn’t have to look over at the doorway to acknowledge the worried look written all over his sister’s face.

“Yeah, _fine_.”

He also doesn’t have to wonder twice if his sister is buying any of his-

“Don’t give me this _shit_ ” _Exactly_. “-Jude.” She dangerously comes across the room, sitting at the corner of his bed.

”You’ve been on your own for days, now.”

”We are staying in quarantine, Callie.” He can’t help the sardonic laugh escaping him as he sits down, staring right into her eyes. He pulls his earplugs out because he _knows_ he can’t escape her now that she’s decided that either he spills the gut or he... spills the guts.

“What am I supposed to do beside just.. stay in _quarantine_?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about, Jude! Do you think I haven’t noticed-“

Jude starts shaking his head in disbelief.

_Don’t say it. Don’t say it._

_”_ Oh my God, Callie.”

 _“_ What happened with Connor?”

”Nothing happened with Connor.”

_Well, aside from him confessing his undeniable love for me and me just standing there, before excusing myself to the bathroom.._

If only Callie’s eyes could pierce right through him... 

“Oh yeah? Then why he’s posting all those tears jerking songs all over his Facebook feed?”

”Well it can be a post quarantine effect, you know? Maybe, he’s even missing his father's cat in these difficult times! Who are we to judge?”

Callie laughs, eyes wide and incredulous expression all over her features.

Jude takes a small breath of relief as she stands up from his bed, heading to the door as she still shakes her head in amusement. When Jude is about to cry for victory, she turns around and asks, a mischievous smirk all over her face. ”Hey, Jude?”

”Yeah?”

”How’s the weather like over there?”

”Um, where?”

Callie loves to make an epic exit just as much as she loves to make an entrance.

“In _Negation_ DC”

  
\- -

He’s been typing and deleting all afternoon staring at the chat.

The last text they exchange is dated March 07th, Connor asking him if they could meet after school. Jude’s eyes shut close at the memory of that fateful day.

”I love you.” Connor’s voice was firm, steady as he’d been practicing it for days.

He knew damn well what he meant, but he still asked voice small and heart beating forcefully in his chest. ”Wh-“ Jude forced words out of his throat. “What do you mean?”

 _Yes_ , he punched himself for that, later in the day.

”What do you mean with _what do you mean.”_ Connor sounded quite frustrated as he went on _, “_ You know _exactly_ what I mean.”   
  


"Connor, I-" 

"Can you look me in the eyes?"

Just when that question hit Jude, he realized his eyes were shut close. He was squeezing them shut actually as if he was trying to _erase_ it all.

"I have to go-"

"Jude." Desperation filled Connor's trembling voice, not so steady and confident anymore. It broke Jude's heart even more.

_"I have to go to the bathroom."_

"I can't text him. I... not after that." Jude sighs, his body falling back against the mattress. "How can I face him after _that?_ "

Days go by and it gets every day more challenging to be locked in, having nothing to do but face your feelings.

The thought of losing Connor is just as unbearable as the thought of him hanging out with someone else, of him laughing with someone else... kissing someone else?

Jude lets himself being drawn into that scenario, of Connor's shaking hands holding him tight. His plump lips only inches away from his own.

He feels his face going on fire as he squeezes his eyes shut, letting out a groan _"Oh my God!"_

It all comes to an end finally.

Jude doesn't even realize really how many days, weeks, have gone by until he was finally allowed to get his life back.

The whole situation took too much away from people. _Lives,_ _people, freedom._

It taught him that nothing was ever going to be the same but one thing he was sure of..

"I want to see you."

Connor slams his locker hard, something flashing across his face. Jude thinks it's anger and he also thinks it's very understandable considering his classy exit, _that time._

He takes a huge breath before taking one step closer, his fingers shake as he reaches for Connor's pinkie. Surprisingly Connor doesn't pull away, he just follows every movement as if to memorize it.

"I... I know I didn't have the courage to look into your eyes because... because it scared the hell out of me, okay? You... you telling me you loved me."

Connor just stares at him, indecipherable look in his eyes. "B-but I realized that something scared me even more."

"A-and what would that be?" 

Jude's heart skips a beat. It has been a while since he's last heard Connor's voice. 

_"Losing you.”_ Jude exhaled, “Truth is... it’s all new to me. Y-you probably had to more time to-“

”Yeah.” Connor gulps down salive, nodding his head as he admits, “It’s been a while..”

”Okay.. okay... I get it. I’m the asshole that never figured it out.”

”I don’t think you’re an asshole, Jude. Not for not realizing it. I do think you are an asshole cause when I did tell you, you excused yourself to the bathroom.”

Jude lets out a strangled laugh, “Yeah, okay. I deserve that.”

”B-But if you don’t feel the same, Jude. That’s okay. I mean it sucks but.. I don’t want to lose you either. I’ll get over it, eventually. I-“

“I do. I.. I’m gonna be honest with you, okay?”

Connor nods his head, his eyes softening as he says, “I just want you to be honest with me. Whatever thing you have to say, I’ll be listening.”

“I can’t say that.. t-that I love you. Not yet. I.. I’m not there yet.”

Connor sounds heartbroken as he says, “Okay.” His grip on the pinkie losing up, Jude doesn’t let that happen, though.

”I _do_ have feelings for you, though, and I.. I don’t want to escape from them. Not anymore. I.. I want to give us a shot.”

Connor lets out a huge breath as he’s just let the heaviest burden off his chest.

”You do?”

“I do.” Jude affirms as he leans in, his face getting close to Connor’s as seconds go by. “Baby steps.”

His eyes instinctively shut close, heat rising in his cheeks as only inches keep their lips apart. Then, he forces himself to keep them open because he wants to see him. He wants to see Connor as he leans in and gets his first kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on twitter: Skyblue_993


End file.
